Lessons from Life (Part-1)

All of us start our lives at ground zero. Everyday is yet another day packed with lots of lessons to learn. The day we stop to learn is the day we stop to grow. So, all our thoughts and beliefs are just manifestations of the impact our family, friends and society have had on us.

Learning is a continuous process in life and so is the process of practicing the lessons learnt.  The main reason for the failure of the latter can be attributed to the obliviousness and the negligence attached to the lessons learnt. So, here, I shall make a humble effort to jot down few lessons I learnt in my life about life. I sincerely hope that this sharing would be mutually beneficial for both of us. So, here we go.

1. Do not break a rule if you cannot face its consequences :
   So, the prerequisite for breaking a rule is to know its consequences :) And once the rule is broken, be brave to face the consequences (so that you don’t break the rule again).
2. Success = Talent + Hard_work + XYZ :
   Even though talent is intrinsic, working hard for the result is still in our hands and it is directly proportional to the passion we develop towards the work. The third factor, XYZ, which many people call luck, I believe, is also in our hands. XYZ = Good_deeds – Bad_deeds. No Numerology, no Astrology and no Vasthu. You decide your destiny/fate/luck by being and doing good to others.
3. (Values&Knowledge) Vs (Money&Power) :
   Time and again we should remind ourselves to respect people with good values and knowledge. Similarly, we should crave more to attain the former than the latter.
4. Expecting anything from others* is a serious crime :
   A safe and default assumption in this regard is that everyone by nature is ‘selfish’. So, instead of wasting time on examining how selfish others are, it is better to spend time on analyzing how more selfless we can become. In case of urgency, requesting help from others is permissible but expecting help (even as a return to what you have done) is a crime. (others* = everyone - (you, your family and your loved ones)).
5. Being honest to lies :
   In today's world, everyone lies at sometime or the other. Smart lies for the sake of something good is not bad. So, confessing to those lies at a  suitable time later makes your heart lighter.
6. Lack of knowledge is not a mistake, lack of eagerness to learn is :
   When someone asks you something that you do not know, there’s nothing wrong in saying “I do not know”. In fact, it is a better thing to do than to giving a wrong advice.
7. Respect the interests of others :
   Most of us, very often, baselessly criticize or express our strong dislike for some film actors, politicians etc., irrespective of the interests of the audience. Saying neutral or good things about someone is always welcomed. But irrationally criticizing people is not called for. After all, the people listening to you are more close to you than the film star/politician itself and you do not want to hurt their feelings.
8. 'Like' what you have got, 'Dislike' what you haven't :
   In case of no other options (after fighting for what you want and failing), instead of giving up, like what you have got and hate what you haven’t. It's a mental process and not a difficult one.
9. If you develop interests/beliefs, develop them strongly :
   Strong interests/beliefs help a lot in decision-making and thus frame a strong character for you.
10. Exercise:
    A good amount of physical exercise, daily, in any form keeps your mind and body healthy.

Please share your thoughts if you do not agree to any of the points or want to append to any.

A Narrow Escape!

Yesterday, in the evening, I suddenly got a call from my dad asking me to start early from office. Though I asked him the reason, he was reluctant to tell and all that he told me was to come home early. So, after winding up my work, as the clock ticked 4, I started to go home. Oh my god, speeding above 40kmph was impossible. The reason was not the traffic but the chillingly cold weather. Being fortunate enough to get a PS-2 station (@non-bitsians: a company where we do our final project) within 5 km from my home, I reached there in 10 minutes.

Now, what surprised me was that my dad, mom and sis were standing outside the house waiting for me. While I started to think why in the world did I deserve such a warm welcome, I noticed a big object in front. It was a car, a new one and our old car was nowhere to be seen. ‘Why did we have to sell our old car to get a new one? Do we really need a new one? I haven’t even become perfect in driving. So why a new one so soon? And why wasn’t I even consulted before buying it?’ All these thoughts started to swirl in my head. Just as my dad gave me the keys and asked me to try driving it, all those thoughts completely vanished from my head and a sudden surge of excitement about driving a new car replaced them.

I got into the car, locked the door and gave the ignition. Before, I even changed the gear it started to move [:O]. ‘What a car was it! By the way, what car was it?’ I didn’t even bother to notice. It either had a default 1st gear or someone had forgotten to bring it back to neutral while stopping it. Whatever it was, I wanted to bring it to a halt so that I could start all over again. I braked. To my utmost horror, it started to accelerate! This was really a crazy car. The positions of the brake and the accelerator had been exchanged in it. ‘Was it a manufacturing fault or was our old car abnormal?’  Before I could ponder more on these thoughts, the car accelerated and unfortunately there was a dead end and it was not too far away!

Only one thought ran through my mind. I had to brake. As the car was nearing the wall, I pressed the accelerator (supposed to be the brake in this one) as hard as I could. What a bad day! There was no effect at all. ‘Did someone disconnect the brake wire? All that happens in movies..is that real? But why would someone want to kill me?’ I then remembered a car accident that I witnessed just few days back. It was very disturbing! I was completely not ready for such an end. I had to brake somehow. So, I tried whatever I could. Turned the headlights on, turned them off, pulled the steering wheel towards myself, pushed it away, sounded the horn, turned the AC on, opened the windows and nothing worked [:(]. Finally an idea struck me. I decided to jump out of the car. And I had only few seconds to act.

Diving onto the muddy drenched roads seemed a better option than to get my head cracked. But in either case, the car would crash. Wondered what my dad would say! It was then the time to act. Firstly I had to open the door and then time the jump properly. As I pulled the door knob up….the car came to a halt. I cracked it finally. I brought the car to a halt. ‘The brake wire was tied to the door knob!’ Oh my god!! And I looked behind to find all my family members laughing. Huh! What a terrible dream!![:P]

C’mon guys! You can’t expect dreams to be logical!!

Indian Marriages

The marriage season is back. Few of my relatives are going to tie the knots soon. My project-work’s mentor is getting married and is on a three-week leave  :) (which has given me time to write all this). Allu Arjun’s ‘Varudu’ has also been released. Irrespective of how the film is faring at the box office, it has added good amount of buzz about Indian Marriages. So, what else can now be a more interesting topic to blog about!

Right through the ages, Indian marriages have had the aura and the delectation attached with them. It’s not just the making-the-bond-moment that makes it momentous, but it’s the get-together of hundreds of relatives and well-wishers with so much positive energy around that adds charm to the event. If not for the marriages, get-together of so many people in this busy-to-survive-world of today seems impossible.

Now, what can be negative about such a positive thing? It’s the economics involved! Dismally, marriages are being perceived as an expression of esteem and status. This has been having an ill-effect on the lower-class people who tend to show a pseudo-status; and the middle and upper-middle classes who don’t take proper measures to cut down the costs during marriages. What can be said about the upper class people who are spending sumptuously crores of rupees on marriages (excluding the crores and sometimes hundreds of crores as dowries)!

The scenario has turned so bad that people are even taking loans for marriages. Isn’t marriage just the beginning of a new life? Isn’t there still a long life ahead? Nevertheless, spending money for making the once-in-a-lifetime-moment significant wouldn’t be bad unless it is an optimal spending and is done sensibly. On the contrary, a call to stop celebrating the occasion would badly affect the huge number of businesses thriving on the matrimonial industry and also, as said above, it wouldn’t give an opportunity for all the family members to meet.

Incidentally, few days back I came across a newspaper article about a marriage in Mumbai. People attending the marriage were asked not to offer any gifts or bouquets to the couple. Instead, people who wished to give something where requested to draw a cheque in the name of a social service organization whose details had been mentioned in the marriage invitation card. What a thought! Simple and innovative! Blessings from family members are always there but blessings gotten from helping someone in trouble are precious. That would have been a great start to the life for the couple!

With that said, I leave it as a personal choice for you to decide whether to follow the unconventional path for your marriage or not. And if yes, it’s still your personal choice to decide on where to cut-down the costs (lots of suggestions available on the internet, marriage agencies etc.) and where to utilize the saved money (orphanages, old-age homes, NGOs etc) to make your marriage or your children’s marriage simple and special.

Campus Life

"Where the heart speaks louder than ever
And one unfurls his individuality and character.

Where talents forge into wondrous skills
And one realizes his concealed fortes and ills.

Where freedom springs up action and innovation
And one learns to exercise the freedom with caution.

Where friendship adds the real meaning to life
And one knows it doesn’t come again–the campus life".

Well, it surely doesn't come again but memories do remain forever.  Few such precious memories of my campus life at BITS in pixels: http://picasaweb.google.com/myimage.sailesh/MyLyfBITS# (with more than 100 people tagged :) )

The Real Religion

It’s a secure feeling, isn’t it? We have someone to turn to in crisis, someone to blame at in our failures and most importantly someone to look up to for HOPE- the omnipotent, the omnipresent, the omniscient- the GOD. It’s a secure feeling to believe that he exists and not many can reject it. So let me express my feelings not about GOD, but about religion and the reality in religion.

Diwali, Holi, Sankranthi, etc. - this is what religion is for many of the Hindus. All through our childhood we are made to believe that X, Y, Z etc are the Gods and that we should respect and follow the traditions of our religion. As children we were supposed to believe them and when we come to an age capable enough to think, understand and then believe, none of us has the time or courage to verify the authenticity of those childhood beliefs.

Though many of the practices we follow can be explained scientifically, how can we ignore the atrocities happening in the name of religion, the caste system, the male domination, the superstitions? Why are people donating crores of rupees to temples when there are crores of people without shelter?

But, let me tell you all this is not religion. According to me, the foundations of any religion lie in the core values not practices. Dharmam, Sathyam, Ahimsa etc. -this is the real religion. The form it is in now is as a result of the transformation it has undergone for the past 3000 years. It’s the same religion that told us that ‘Manavaseve Madhavaseva’. So, let’s accept our religion as a set of values and relate it to today’s world. Let’s learn to respect our religion and make it real and relevant.

“I’m a human and yes I’m a Hindu,

Inspired by the preachings not traditions.

I’m an agnostic, yet I’m a Hindu,

Bound to the religion by values not practices.”

PS: Though this post is oriented towards Hinduism, the central theme is applicable to other religions as well. And if you are interested in knowing all the values that Hinduism has taught us, u can go through http://moralstories.wordpress.com/list-of-stories/